Hi all! Hope you’re having a great week.
im currently in bed rest for a bad back, so I’m uploading from my tablet tonight. Forgive me if the formatting is a little off,
Hope you enjoy these chapters!
I walk off the elevator at Haven, carrying my books, and Rose’s class assignments. After seeing her in the hospital last night, the doctors told her that the she would be able to come home today. She needs to keep up taking fluids and rest, but other than that she is going to make a good recovery.
Duke called me when he got the news to fill me in but also tell me that he wanted to pick her up. He didn’t get to visit her in the hospital so he wants to be there for her in some way.
So, since I can’t pick her up, I picked up her assignments from her teachers – even though she probably won’t do them – and brought them here. Deklan wants to talk about what to do next. I hope he is going to tell Rose to take it easy. To stop hunting. To be normal. After what happened that night, after what I did –
The elevator dings, and the door opens. Hayden walks in. Memories from the other night at the club rush over me, and I look away as guilt washes over me. That night, standing there… I don’t know what happened, I honestly don’t. Something came over me, and suddenly I couldn’t look at anyone but her. I couldn’t think about anything but her.
And I feel so guilty because I love Rose. I love her. I have no doubt about that. But there is something about Hayden that distracts me from her, from everything. And, I hate it.
I’ve been at the hospital the last few days, so I saw Hayden for the first time today at school. She made eye contact with me, and I gave her a nod, before practically running the other way. But, right now she is right in front of me, and I can practically feel her eyes drilling holes in the back of my head.
“Hey,” she says to me, dragging the word out, making this even more awkward.
“Hey,” I reply, busying myself with my bag and Rose’s placing them on the floor, and shuffling through my bag pretending to need something out of it.
“So, is Bianca going to be okay?” She asks, and I can feel that she is infinitetly closer than being across the room thirty seconds ago.
“Uh, yeah. She should be getting here soon, actually,” I reply, looking down at my phone, hoping for another distraction.
“Good, good,” she mumbles. “Are you okay? I know the other night was weird. I actually was kind of hoping to talk to you about it.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s all good,” I mumble, barley glancing at her.
“Really? Then why can’t you look at me?” She chuckles.
I scoff. “I can look at you.”
Finally, I look at her. My eyes meet hers, and again, it is like I am transfixed, like she is the only person in the world.
“You can feel it, right?” She asks, her voice lower, heady. “Please tell me that you can. That it is not just me. That you can feel this pull between us.”
Barely thinking, I nod along to her words.
“Yes,” I breathe out, because I am at least happy to know that whatever this is, she feels it too.
She takes a step closer to me, and I don’t think to move. She takes another step, and finally through a thick haze in my mind, I think about how wrong this is, how this is not what I want. She reaches a hand up to my cheek, and I let out a little shake of my head. “But, I don’t want this.”
She gives a shake of her own head, and says, “Shhh.”
And then her lips meet mine. It is only for an instant, but I know that it is something I do not want. Either way, I still can’t seem to pull myself away. Her other hand moves to my other cheek. I keep my hands at my sides. I don’t move at all. Stuck between feeling like I want this and knowing that I don’t.
But then, there is a noise. A ding of some sort. And footsteps. And then a gasp.
“What. The. Fuck.”
I could hear the venom in the voice as it pierces through the air.
Slowly, moving like I’ve been drugged, I break away from Hayden. I blink a few times, and my tunnel vision clears, and I can see Duke, and Rose standing in front of the elevator doors.
Duke is the one that spoke, rage covering his features. My eyes go to Rose. The hurt on her face, the shock, it hits me deep. I open my eyes to speak, but Duke steps forward, his hands clenching and unclenching into fists.
“I am going to kick your ass,” Duke shouts, coming closer to me. I don’t even look at him, though. My eyes are on Rose. She reaches a hand out to Duke, touching his arm, stopping him. He looks at her, incredulous, but she isn’t paying attention. Her eyes are on me. She doesn’t make a sound. Hell, besides grabbing Duke’s arm, she doesn’t even move. She just watches me, tears in her painfilled eyes.
“I – ” I don’t even know what to say. How to explain. I look at Hayden, hoping for some sort of help in explaining that I didn’t want this. That this wasn’t meant to happen, but Hayden looks just as shocked as I feel.
We all stand in silence, staring at each other. The elevator dings making me jump, and when Deklan steps off the elevator, he freezes, looking between us all.
“What’s happened?” He asks.
Rose turns away, wiping her eyes. She walks to the elevator, and presses the down button. The doors pop open automatically.
“Bainca, where are you going?” Deklan asks.
She scoffs. “Anywhere, but here,” she says, and steps into the cart.
“I’m with her,” Duke says, shooting me a glare before jogging to get in the elevator before the doors close.
Deklan turns to us with a raised eyebrow. “What am I missing?”
“She, uh, she kissed me,” I say, pointing over at Hayden.
Deklans other eyebrow raises.
“Look, I didn’t want that to happen, okay? But there is something going on, something I cannot explain.”
“What do you mean?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It’s like whenever we are around each other, we can’t focus on anything else. Last night when we were at the club, it was like he was the only person there. He was all I could think about,” Hayden says, and for a moment, I think that she actually looks scared.
Deklan looks at her with raised eyebrows, and then looks back at me.
“I think that it is quite a simple explanation, actually. Vampires give of pharamones, that can lead to a sort of compulsion. If I were to make eye contact with a human, invade their senses so all they think about is me, I can make them do… just about anything, really. It didn’t ever cross my mind with you, Hayden, because I didn’t think you would have the ability given that you are a half-breed, but I guess I was wrong. And, if you are going to use compulsion on the people here, the people who are trying to protect you, then I don’t think you can stay here.”
“Now, wait a minute,” Hayden argues, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ve never heard of compulsion, except for stupid vampire novels. I had no idea that it was something I could do.”
“Are you telling me that you didn’t want Chase? You weren’t trying to hurt Bianca?”
“No, okay,” she breathes out, her voice low, scared. “I – Sure, I think Chase is hot, and yeah do I think B can get knocked down a peg? Sure, but I don’t want to hurt her – not in that way. I do have a level of respect, you know. And, I wouldn’t risk my sisters life. Knowing if I pissed you guys off, that you would through us both out, I wouldn’t risk it. Not over some guy. Please, believe me.”
The last words are said pleadingly, and I can’t help but believe her.
Deklan looks to me, and I nod. He lets out a sigh.
“Fine, but this is your first and final warning. We are risking our lives to help you, and we owe you absolutely nothing. Remember that.”
Hayden visibly swallows. “Noted.”
I look over at her. “I think… I think it would be best if you stayed away from me.”
She nods. “I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate that,” I reply, and then I brush past both her and Deklan, heading to the elevator. I’ve got to go find my girlfriend.
Hayden kissed Chase.
Chase kissed Hayden.
That is all I can think about. His lips touching hers. I can’t believe she did that. I can’t believe he did that.
“You okay?” Duke asks from across the elevator.
My eyes are closed, my arms are crossed, my head back against the wall, my insides fuming. At his words, my eyes snap open, and I look over at him. He sucks in a breath.
“Right. Stupid question. Sorry.”
The elevator opens, and we walk out of the small box, and go to Alec’s door. Duke opens the door without knocking, and I follow. Alec sits on his couch, playing on his xbox. He looks up at us as we walk into the room.
“Hey,” he says, smiling brightly at me. “You’re out. I’m glad you’re okay.”
I give him a tight smile. “Thanks.”
“What’s wrong?” Alec asks, his expression changing as he looks between Duke and me.
“Let’s not talk about it,” I reply, plopping down on the couch next to Alec. “Can I kill something?”
Wordlessly, Alec hands me the remote, and then he stands up to talk to Duke. I tune them both out, and watch the screen, mindlessly shooting the zombies, trying to keep my character alive. Vaguely, I hear the door open. The air changes, suddenly becoming stiff and uncomfortable. My skin crawls as the spot on the couch next to me dips. I don’t need to look over to see who is next to me. She’s got some big cajones, coming to me after what she did.
“Hi,” she says, quietly. Nervously.
Good. She should be nervous. My hands tight on the controller.
“Where’s my boyfriend?” I ask, anger and annoyance clear in my voice.
“He’s in the hallway with Duke and Alec. I asked them to talk to you alone first.”
I scoff. “Brave.”
“I had to… clear the air.”
A bark of laughter escapes me. “Sure, you do that.”
“Look, what I did, it was wrong, but you have to believe that I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
Finally, I put down the remote, and turn to her. “Really, I should just have to believe you?”
“No, of course not. But please, just listen.”
Her eyes are pleading, and I roll my eyes. I motion my hand to say ‘continue’.
“I – I don’t know much about what I am. I was in foster care with Lily – neither of us know anything about our parents. We were normal kids, until things started happening to us. Like, our teeth coming out, our vision and our senses are heightening. And then that man, one of The Aldinn’s lackey’s find us and tell us what we are. We didn’t know what to do, how to make sense out of any of this new information. And it left us with more questions. There is so much about us that we don’t know. Like compulsion.”
“What?” I ask, giving her an odd look.
“Compulsion. It – ”
“I know what it is. What does it have to do with any of this?”
“That’s what it was. What happened. It was compulsion. I was lying if I said that I don’t find Chase attractive. And, I am jealous, of the two of you, of what you have. And that is the reason why we kissed. I wasn’t aware of what I was doing. And, I am truly sorry for it happening, for you seeing it happen.”
I just stare at her shocked.
“I know that you don’t believe me, and I get that. I wouldn’t believe me either. But, I wouldn’t risk my safety or my sisters over a guy.”
I know that I shouldn’t believe her, that I shouldn’t trust her. But, something about what she is saying makes sense. She has some of the powers of vampires, so why wouldn’t she have the power of compulsion either? And she did admit to liking Chase, so that shows that she is trying to be honest. And then there is also the fact that you would have to be pretty heartless to risk the life of your sister over a guy.
“I – I believe you,” I find myself saying.
She lets out a shaky breath. “Thank you. I promise that nothing like that will ever happen again.”
I nod, even though her words aren’t very comforting.
“I am going to go now. Have a good night, and I will see you around.”
She pats my knee, which I think is odd, and then she leaves the room. The door to the apartment opens, and then another person is walking in. Chase occupies the spot Hayden was in.
“So, how mad are you?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not really mad… anymore. But, it wasn’t fun to see.”
“I know, and I am so sorry that you had to see that. You know that I would never do it willingly, right?”
Looking away from him, I nod.
He wraps an arm around my neck, and pulls me against him, placing a kiss on my forehead.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you, too,” I mumble into his neck.
Later on that night, Chase drops me off at home, and the house is quiet. When I walk into my room, there is a figure on my bed. I turn on the light to see her, with her arms crossed, waiting for me.
I roll my eyes. “Not today, okay? It’s been bad enough, already.”
“Oh, I know. I saw the whole thing. It’s a shame, isn’t it? Your first boyfriend, and he prefers a different girl.”
Scoffing, I cross my arms over my chest. “That is not what happened.”
“Sure, if you believe that whole compulsion crock. Why don’t you just accept that he wants someone else? That you and him…” She clucks her tongue. “Just aren’t meant to be.”
“Go away. Please,” I implore her. Suddenly, my head begins to pound, and a put a hand to my forehead, and squeeze my eyes shut. I wish she would just go away. When I reopen my eyes, she is still here, standing in front of me.
“Oh, darling.” She reaches a hand out to touch me but I take a step back. “I didn’t meant to upset. I’m sorry. I’ll come back later.”
With that she is gone, leaving me with self doubt. I roll my eyes at this whole situation. Not only is it because I am talking to my dead mother, but also that I am doubting Chase. I mean, come on it’s Chase. The one person I know that I can trust.
Still, after I’ve showered, and am laying in bed, I can’t help but thinking about Chase and Hayden. Together. I roll over and let out a frustrated groan into my pillow. This is going to be a long night.
When I wake up the next morning, saying that I am irritated is an understatement. I come down the stairs for breakfast, and Duke and Sarah are sitting at the kitchen table. Sarah smiles at me, and Duke opens his mouth to say something, but he takes one look at my face, snaps his mouth shut, and covers his mouth with a cup of coffee. Let me tell you how that makes my mood so much better. I go over to the counter where the coffee maker is, grab a mug from the cupboard above it, and poor coffee. I chug the coffee in a matter of seconds, and then shove a piece of very burnt toast into mouth. i mutter a goodbye as I rush out of the kitchen, and out of the house. I don’t even want to be around them. Especially, not when I am being so moody like this.
I close the door to the house, and put my head in my hands for a moment. What the hell is wrong with me? This is my family? Why am I being like this? I take a deep breath, do a little shake of my body, to try to suss out the nerves, and dark emotions that I am feeling. I feel a little better as the breath exhales my body. Keeping my head up, I start my walk to school. Midway, I get a text from Chase telling me that he is on his way to my house to pick me up but I lie and tell him that I am already at school. That I had to meet someone early to work on a project for one of my classes.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like lying and I don’t feel good about doing it now, but I just… I don’t feel right. I don’t feel like me. And I don’t want to be around anyone right now. Everything just feels off, and I can’t be around them trying to pretend that everything is normal.
I’m three blocks from school, and I can see the high buildings poking around the horizon when I see something move out of the corner of my eye. Across the street stands my mother. She see’s me, and waves. I stop, not moving at all. I just stare. She smiles brightly, and waves me over. I look between her and the school. Without thinking, my feet move… in the direction I was least expecting. Her smile widens as I bypass a car, and step onto the same street corner as her.
“Want to spend the day with me? Just like old times?” She asks, and for the first time in a long time, I feel myself smile. A real smile.
The end, for now.