I found this poem that I had written awhile ago, and after a week full of anxiety attacks, I thought it was fitting to share it.
Below is my poem, Lost.
Today I am not simply wandering
Today, I am lost.
Floating in the cloudy space of my mind.
Swimming through the muddled thoughts,
The vast feelings that try to consume me daily.
Most days I can ignore them,
Force down the fear and anxiety, pretending they’re not there.
I want to cry because I am happy
And cry because I am sad
Quit my job out of fear of everything.
Punch something because I can’t find my place
and nothing seems to be going right.
I want to scream at the thoughts of losing the people closest to me
Yet, I want to smile because I don’t want to scare any of them away.
Today I am lost
Because I can’t make sense of this mess that I call my mind.
I can’t understand why I’m afraid,
Why my stomach is in knots,
When everything is fine. Life is good.
Today I am lost because I feel the need to apologize
for my mind being like a tangled ball of yarn
Today I am lost.
Today I am… Where am I?