Catherine Kos – Author

For me, like most people, 2022 was a hard year. It was full of a lot pain, and a lot of emotion that I would have chosen not to go through if I had the choice. But it happened. And it took a while to realize that it had to happen. I had to go through each experience in order to grow from it all, to make me the person I am today. And now, I’m that much closer to being the person I aspire to be.

In the past year, I lost some relationships but others grew. There is nothing like knowing that even though I might not talk to my friends everyday or even as often as I have in the past, I’m in their hearts. That there is love and bonds that can’t be broken no matter how much times goes by.

This year, I’ve found a newfound love for myself. Because in the past and even recently, I’ve found that I’ve judged myself harshly for caring too much about people. That I give to much. But I’m starting to understand myself more. I’m starting to see why I care about that person so much, or why that person is able to hurt me – because I let it happen. And instead of just laboring on it, I’m trying to let myself feel. Feel the pain and the hurt, understand it, and then let it go. Pain is inevitable but I get to choose how much a person hurts me. Just like I get to choose if they can keep on hurting me.

In 2022, I had to learn to forgive myself for how I handled situations that I acted poorly in. And I had to learn to stop doubting those around me when all they’ve ever done is prove my doubts wrong.

2022 was painful. But it was growth. My roots are finally stable and soon I will flourish, just like a rose in summer.

Here is to 2023. May it be filled with love and happiness.

I’m cheering you all on.

The End

There were no broken bones 

but there was a lot of pain.

Many tears were shed.

Many thoughts that were less than kind.

Realizations that took a lot to face.

Fears that were overcome.

Unsaid goodbyes, and gained foresight.

Life lessons, in the form of short and stout.

I can see it when I look in the mirror 

and I can feel it in my bones

when I think of the girl I used to be.

Knowing that we are so completely different.

That she was just a shell compared to me. 

A rough exterior, and repressed emotions

that would just pour over, 

like I was an overflowing cup. 

She was the version of me that was angry, 

and although I still am,

I’m also happy and sad, joyful and shy.

I am so much more than who she was.

And I don’t like what happened,

I’m not happy that it did.

Even though it was painful and hard,

it had to happen so I could get here,

to someone I want to be.

Happy and full of emotion that I voice

instead of burying it.

This year was painful

but necessary.

And I made it through.

Breathing and standing.

With colorful battle wounds, 

that I’ll bear for a long time.

But, more importantly,

with a new found love

to carry me on.